Loving Our Enemies Is Not Being a Doormat

Jesus’ words in the Sermon on the Mount still pierce our hearts today: “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” (Matt. 5:44).

But if we’re honest, many of us have struggled with what this means in practice. Does loving our enemies mean tolerating abuse? Does turning the other cheek mean permitting injustice? Are Christians called to be doormats for harm?

The short answer: No.


Turning the Other Cheek: A Misunderstood Teaching

When Jesus spoke about turning the other cheek, He was not commanding His followers to embrace endless cycles of abuse or humiliation. In His cultural context, a slap on the cheek was less about violence and more about insult—an attempt to demean or devalue someone — to intentionally lower their status.

By turning the other cheek, Jesus was teaching His disciples a surprising, dignified response: refuse to be drawn into retaliation, and refuse to surrender your dignity. It was not about cowering. It was about standing firm, face to face, in a love that does not mirror hatred but also does not collapse before it.

This is love as spiritual and relational boldness, not cowardice.


What Love Does (and Doesn’t) Mean

Loving our enemies doesn’t mean granting them unlimited access to harm us.
It doesn’t mean excusing injustice.
It doesn’t mean enabling abusive patterns.

It does mean:

  • Choosing not to repay evil with evil.
  • Refusing to let bitterness define us.
  • Seeking creative ways to respond that uphold both truth and dignity.
  • Entrusting ultimate justice to God.

Love does not erase boundaries; it actually requires them. Jesus Himself set boundaries, walked away from hostile crowds, and confronted injustice directly. His love was fierce and self-giving, but never naïve.


Doormats vs. Doorways

When we confuse love with passivity, we become doormats. But Christ calls us to be doorways—openings through which His redeeming love can enter even the hardest places.

Sometimes that looks like forbearing and/or forgiving.
Sometimes that looks like refusing to cooperate with evil.
Sometimes it looks like speaking truth to power.
Sometimes it looks like walking away.

In every case, it looks like refusing to let hate have the last word. Ultimately, we can only know the “right” response for the situation by cultivating an interactive and communicative connection with the Holy Spirit in real time.


A Better Way Forward

Loving our enemies is not about collapsing in weakness—it is about rising in Christlikeness. It’s about embodying a different kind of strength: one that neither retaliates in violence nor surrenders in despair, but answers with courageous mercy.

To love an enemy is not to excuse them. It is to resist becoming like them.


👉 Reflection question: Where are you tempted to confuse love with passivity? What response might actually make your love stronger, truer, and more Christlike?

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